In a previous post I shared my decision to submit to Ancestry.com for DNA analysis. It was not a decision made lightly and one done with bit of fear attached.

Now this fear had many layers to unpack, and my husband was great in his efforts to prepare me for the best and worst case scenarios. We believed we had covered all the various permutations of searching and reunion; but man-o-man were we wrong.

What we had not prepared for was the constant need to defend my humanly existence. Covering questions such as: how did you get here, how do you know for a fact we are related, what is it you are looking to gain, my parents told me everything and you never came up, we were not raised together so why do we need to have a relationship and on and on.

Through all of these questions I have been patient and empathetic to a fault. Until one day the circumstances smacked me upside my head - why? Why I am the one left holding the bag, and continually held to some off-the-wall standard where I am asked to justify what has happened?

Now here is the harsh truth: as the adoptee it is not my responsibility to justify the actions taken when I was a baby. Let me state this again - I was a baby. Yet as I write those words I also am aware enough to know I will be the responsible one in the majority of these situations. With each new search discovery and reunion I will go forward. The need to know outweighs the burden of defending my existence.

Find your people, cherish your people and love your people.