The Right Timing

When is the right time to really dive in and tell the story? A question which has been rolling around and living rent free in my mind for months.  

As I have mentioned in past posts, growing up I always knew that I was adopted; always.  Adoptee is the label which has defined my entire existence.  It is the guide to how my life has unfolded over the days, weeks, months and years.  It is the word with many entangled family tree roots wandering around my mind, body and soul. It is for this purpose I want to dive a bit deeper into the personal aspects of my adoptee life journey. It is also the singular reason I sit in fear and am hesitant to go any further in this public forum.  

Fear and hesitation of going public with my adoption journey has been strong. Let’s be candid for a minute and acknowledge that often when one begins to fight for a life of happiness and biological truths, not everyone will be ready to dive into the dark abyss. No one wants to have their family secrets aired out for others to judge, which in turn may create naysayers.  

Who wants naysayers weighing in on the personal aspects of their own life? I know I really do not want them. It opens me up to be insulted, ignored or ridiculed by those taking the time to read or listen to what I have to say.  

The truth is that I may not be for everyone in the audience, which is a bit discouraging to admit. Discouraging as it is in this moment, I equally realize the more time I spend trying to convince myself I need to be loved by the naysayer, the one who is unable to do so, the more time is getting away from me. Which in turn is limiting the real possibility of connection and positive impact for someone who may be standing in the space I was five years ago.  

Who knew a decision made in 2017 to ask for a commercial DNA kit, as a Christmas present, would lead to the launch of a blog and preparation for a podcast? Certainly not this adoptee... 

It is time. It is now or never. Therefore, I am going to ground myself in the words of Elanor Roosevelt, “In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”  

Find your people, cherish your people and love your people! 

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