Get In The Box Emotions

Words do not describe my emotions right now. 

Our first phone conversation was barely a year ago. I remember the awkward start, trying to step delicately through the history of my birth and ultimately letting it go. There was no rush on this day, we had time. 

Our first in person meeting was a bit over six months past. There was a single goal: meet and thank the woman whom gave me life. It was a day of pure joy. I knew the conception story was not good and ultimately let it go. There was no rush on this day, we had time. 

Thirty-two days ago we met again for a ladies lunch. It was a big weekend overall, I was meeting more family. Lots of it, to be frank, and everyone knew which meeting was most important to you. We agreed and did everything we could to accommodate. I had so many questions to ask, yet the mood was off and ultimately I let them go. There was no rush on this day, we had time. 

The clock has stopped and you are gone. It does not seem real and yet I know it is. My heart is shattered and selfishly this is NOT the end I wanted. 

As the entire family mourns, I am going to take a moment to celebrate our wins and say thank you again. 

Thank you for my life; I am doing my best to make it count. 

Thank you for meeting me; you have shown time does not diminish a mother’s love. 

Thank you for the gift of more family than I might know what to do with at this stage of life; they are wonderful and are doing right by your daughter. 

Rest easy sweet one; until we meet again - much love.

Find your people, cherish your people and love your people.